From an early age, we are confronted with the image of birth being full of pain, screaming and blood. We hear terrifying stories about difficult births and the need of medical intervention and drugs. This all makes birth look somehow unnatural.
The majority of movies show woman automatically needing doctors and strict instructions. She is told when to push, how to breath and is surrounded by lots of people. Quite often it looks like an emergency. The water breaks and everybody rushes into the hospital in a panic.
The reality is and should be different. Women are designed for this miracle of bringing a new life into the world. For nine months they are carrying the baby under their heart and all they should do in this time, as I believe, is listen to their body, their intuition and connect to their baby.
It is when we are disconnected from ourselves and our babies that unnecessary fear grows. And where there is fear, there is tension. Where there is tension, there is the pain we usually fear the most.
Therefore, if you are scared of giving birth, find time for yourself and focus on your fear.
You can sit down with a pen and paper and write it all down. What are you scared of? Pain, blood, something going wrong, Caesarean section...? Then go point by point looking at real evidence and statistics and the various options you have. You might be surprised how few of these fears still remain.
Another great way of getting rid of fears is talking to your baby. Put on relaxing music, sit quietly and just communicate. You can read aloud positive affirmations for you and your baby (I publish them regularly on my IG account) and repeat this as often as you need. A few minutes every day, perhaps before you go to bed. Or print them and have them somewhere visible, it could be bathroom whilst brushing your teeth. The principle is to make sure that the positive inputs your brain receives about the birth prevail over the negative ones you have heard all your life.
Think about how you use positive affirmations in your daily life to promote successful outcomes. Why would the same principle not apply to giving birth?
Ask your friends and family members to share their positive birth story over and above the negative ones. Don’t feel bad about stopping a woman who wants to talk about her difficult birth and explain to her that what you and your baby need is positive input. What was the most positive aspect of her experience?
My mantra during the second pregnancy was ‘’90% of the birth is in my head’’. Therefore, I was making sure that my mind was set up positively, that I did not hide my fears at the back of my head. Instead, like with successfully overcoming any issues, it is about confronting them, understanding them and rationally deconstructing them.
You can also find a qualified doula or midwife to talk to, find out about your options and what kind of birth would work for you the best.
If you have any questions, you can write me email at sarka.chapman@gmail.com or leave comment below.